Thinking of You

Hi friend,

Have you ever had the following experience: 

You’re thinking about one of your friends or loved ones who you miss and you’re tempted to reach out, but you don’t because for whatever reason you don’t have the time or bandwidth to “do so properly” – i.e., to have a full catch up chat, meet in person, or fully engage in whatever mode of interaction you fear they’ll propose or expect from you in response. 

So rather than risk opening a can of worms and putting yourself in a situation where you’re forced to choose between potentially disappointing them or overwhelming yourself, you stay silent, deciding it’s best to just wait until you have the capacity to optimally engage.  

So you wait … and wait … and wait … as your feelings of guilt and anxiety mount and the chasm between you widens.

I’ve certainly fallen prey to this — many times.

But I’m determined to stop because I’ve recognized that it’s yet another example of me letting perfection be the enemy of the good.

Why?  Because in my effort to avoid potentially disappointing others (key word “potentially” because for all I know they are just as swamped or otherwise preoccupied as I am), I risk giving them the (mis)impression that I’m not thinking about them at all.

And what a shame that is because the mere knowledge that someone you care about is thinking of you or sending positive vibes your way is such a GIFT that could totally make the other person’s day.

I mean think about it, how would it make you feel right now to know with absolute certainty that even with the million other things they’ve got going on and could be focusing on, one of your friends or loved ones is thinking about you at this very moment?

It would probably mean the world.

Indeed, research shows that beyond simply making you feel good, it could provide you with the burst of strength or courage you need to surmount whatever obstacles you’re facing in the moment.

In a series of studies, researchers asked participants to stand at the base of a steep hill and to estimate how hard it would be to climb.  Fascinatingly, the participants who were standing with a friend gauged the hill as being significantly less steep and easier to climb compared with participants who were alone.  Most notably, the same was true of the participants who simply IMAGINED one of their friends.

What’s happening is that when we know that someone cares about us and has our back, even if they’re not actually with us, we feel more equipped to take on the many challenges that inevitably come our way.

With this in mind, I’ve gotten into the habit of texting my loved ones to ask for “mind hugs” when I’m struggling but for whatever reason am not able or up for engaging in a prolonged conversation. I really cannot overstate the strength, courage, and reassurance that that even their brief messages and emojis convey.

So today, my friend, I encourage you to resist your instinct to underestimate the BIG impact you can make through a TINY gesture, and to stop procrastinating (which, when you think about it, is just another word for letting perfect be the enemy of the good).

Is there someone you’ve been thinking about but waiting to reach out to?

Stop waiting for the perfect time — or for them to ask for a mind hug.

Instead, just go ahead and let them know.

And if you find yourself standing at the base of your own metaphorical steep hill, please know I am always sending a big old mind hug your way.

With love,

Jordana