Starved for Time?
Hi friend,
As you may know, this week is Well-Being Week in Law, and today’s focus is on cultivating social well-being. While I've previously written about the immense (indeed life-saving) benefits of social connection, I think it's safe to say that the vast majority of us (myself included) are not connecting nearly as much as we’d like.
For many of us, the main culprit is “time famine” (feeling like we are starved for time). There is rarely enough time in the day to do all of the things we need to do, and when life gets busy, social connection is often the first thing to fall by the wayside. My husband Zach will be the first to attest that I, too, am guilty of this, having recently announced that I am “canceling” May (i.e., placing a moratorium on social plans) as I prepare for some exciting new projects.
But while it’s perfectly fine (and sometimes necessary) to pare down socializing during busy periods, the science shows that eliminating brief bursts of social connection from our day is actually counterproductive in this context.
A famous study by a trio of professors from Yale, Harvard, and Wharton tested four strategies for reducing our sense of time famine:
Literally giving people back time by cancelling something they’d previously committed to
Asking people to spend that same amount of time on a task helping others
Asking people to waste the time
Asking people to spend that time on themselves
Only one group of participants later reported experiencing “time affluence” (feeling like they had time to spare). Want to guess which one?
That’s right – the group that spent time giving to other people.
The key takeaway from this study is that when we spend time giving to others – which includes simply showing kindness or compassion by taking a few minutes to meaningfully connect – we actually experience that as time ADDED to our day, rather than lost.
Couple that with the fact that social connection produces a surge of oxytocin that improves concentration, focus, and productivity, and the time windfall we gain from even micro-moments of connection may be even larger than we think.
I for one have not regretted a single one of the breaks I’ve carved out recently to connect with others (including playing sous chef in Zach’s latest cooking extravaganza).
And I am eagerly looking forward to the increasing number of “exceptions” I'm making to my May moratorium. ☺️
So if you’ve been feeling starved for time lately, I encourage you to ask yourself:
How can you meaningfully connect today?
You literally don't have time not to!
With love,
Jordana
